i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Randomize
