But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
