oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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