Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
