remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
