My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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