Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
