he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
