I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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