In the future we'll all be gay
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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