I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
