He is an equal opportunity slut.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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