Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
