eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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