he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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