Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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