I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
