SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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