One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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