Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize