you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize