dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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