I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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