So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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