its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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