So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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