am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
