I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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