is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
