In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
