In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
