Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
