I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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