I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
