Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
