Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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