I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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