...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
