Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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