I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
