is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
