the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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