You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
