We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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