Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
