It was confusing and full of hummus
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
