Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
