If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
