I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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