You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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