we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
