I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize