My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
