I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
