I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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