Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
