This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
