Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control should be required to get into college
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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