I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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