This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
