i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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