My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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