Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
