It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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