ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
